How to tell students not to act up in their dormitory town? This is to my mind an interesting example on the ‘how-not-to’ side of the question.
The Provost of Cromore College on the banks of the lovely Bann is full cry – employing her distinctive brand of social worker-ese to forewarn Freshers of the dire consequences should they drop their sweetie-papers in the scenic landscape where the campus was set down like a jam factory forty years ago – or turn up the volume on their boomboxes during Drunken and Promiscuous Parties in Portrush or Portstewart.
It must be said that DPPs seem an obvious desideratum for a student body training to provide the leadership cadre of Ulster society in the future. But the Provost takes a different view. “I must advise you, in the strongest possible terms”, says our sweet-faced disciplinarian, “that the University takes these issues extremely seriously. Under its Ordinances and Regulations, the University will act fairly but firmly when students step outside acceptable behaviour.” Continue reading